every beat of my heart

Friday, April 29, 2005 @3:07 PM

Ada apa dengan cinta? Mengapa begitu ramai orang yang membuat filem, drama or lagu tentang cinta?...... Apa itu Cinta? Ramai yang memberikan definisi tersendiri tentang cinta.... Jadi, apa sebenarnya cinta?

Takrifan berikut adalah hasil pandangan dari saya semata-mata, tidak semestinya betul dan harus diikuti....

Bagi saya, apabila seseorang yang sentiasa memikirkan tentang si dia, orang itu dilamun cinta.... apabila seseorang itu sanggup untuk buat apa sahaja demi si dia, orang itu dilamun cinta.... dan apabila seseorang yang hanya ingin melihat si dia berbahagia walaupun tidak memiliki sidia... orang itu juga dilamun cinta....

Dan cinta itu terdiri daripada dua unsur iaitu puja dan sayang......

puja : perasaan minat yang mendalam terhadap seseorang, setiap tingkah laku si dia begitu disenangi olehnya, perasaan ini jugalah yang menerbitkan rasa rindu pada si dia, ingin menjadi pelindung dan mendorong seseorang itu untuk membahagiakan si dia.... kehadiran perasaaan ini akan menimbulkan sesuatu perasaan lain yang dipanggil jiwang....

sayang : perasaan yang tidak mahu kehilangan si dia, perasaan ingin memiliki dan berkongsi segalanya dengan si dia, saling bergantungan dan berharap di antara satu sama lain.... perasaan sayang ini selalu dikaitkan dengan setia dan pengorbanan....

kombinasi antara 2 unsur ini akan dapat mewujudkan pelbagai jenis cinta....

1. cinta puja + sayang

kebanyakan cinta sekarang wujud dengan kedua dua perasaan ini. itu sebabnya kebanyakan pasangan yang bercinta, permulaan percintaan mereka dianggap adalah saat yang terindah. segala-galanya terasa manis belaka... sekiranya kedua-dua perasaan puja dan sayang itu kekal lama, keindahan sesuatu perhubungan itu akan sentiasa berterusan malah mungkin akan bertambah manis selepas mengharungi pelbagai rintangan dalam perhubungan... walaupun cinta jenis ini jarang didapati, mungkin kita akan dapat juga melihat beberapa contoh di sekeliling kita di mana kita lihat pasangan yang sudah berumah tangga selama 20-30 tahun, tapi keintiman mereka seolah-olah baru bercinta, tentu ada bukan? mungkin inilah yang dikatakan Cinta Sejati

2. cinta sayang

seperti yang saya katakan tadi, kebanyakan cinta bermula dengan perasaaan puja dan sayang, tetapi, setelah lama bercinta, satu perasaan yang tidak dapat bertahan lama jika tidak di jaga ialah puja... seseorang yang memuja pasangan suatu ketika dahulu tidak lagi mempunyai perasaan sama setelah si dia meningkat umurnya... kadang-kadang timbul pula perasaan bosan... ini biasanya disebabkan orang itu telah memuja si dia di atas faktor luaran semata-mata yang mana ia tidak akan kekal lama, ataupun si dia telah berubah personalitinya yang mana tidak lagi dipuja oleh seseorang itu.... apabila ini berlaku, hubungan cinta itu akan bergantung pada perasaan sayang semata, tiada lagi bibit-bibit manis seperti pada awal perhubungan dahulu.... siapa tak sayang bini oi.... tapi sayang aje tak cukup.... dan contoh cinta ini sungguh mudah dilihat di mana-mana, bagaimana si suami berjalan meninggalkan isteri di belakang, isteri duduk di belakang apabila ada di dalam kereta, dan macam macam contoh lagi... usahlah disalahkan kehadiran anak-anak mendinginkan perhubungan anda....

3. cinta pujaan

jenis cinta yang terakhir ialah cinta pujaan, atau mungkin sesetengah orang menyebutnya cinta yang bertepuk sebelah tangan... cinta ini wujud apabila seseorang itu telah menemui si dia yang begitu diminati tetapi atas beberapa sebab, cinta ini tidak dapat dibalas oleh si dia... tapi, apa nak buat kan cinta itu datangnya dari tuhan.... jika seseorang itu redha dengan takdir, dia akan cukup berbahagia apabila melihat si dia bahagia... orang itu juga akan sentiasa mengambil berat tentang si dia... itu pun kalau seseorang itu redha dengan keadaan... cinta pujaan ini adalah cinta yang paling kerap terjadi, malahan saya percaya, setiap orang pernah melaluinya.....

terdapat pelbagai jenis cinta dan walau apa jenis cinta yang anda lalui saya yakin ia merupakan antara pengalaman anda yang terindah seperti sifat cinta itu sendiri, Indah.

itulah sedikit hasil cetusan pemikiran saya setelah melakukan pemerhatian dan melalui pengalaman sendiri... tidak semestinya ape yang saya katakan ini betul, cukup berbaloi bagi saya jika ia dapat membuat pembaca berfikir....

sekian, wassalamz...

Thursday, April 21, 2005 @7:51 PM

It’s been long since I last wrote here, maybe lack of ideas or maybe I’ve been busy with my new broadband connection. Just can’t get enough with downloading animes, songs and video clips.

Emotion. What is an emotion? Some people say emotion is feelings, its something in your heart, follow your heart are always the way or truthfulness. Those who aren’t are just mere hypocrites. And some other people say that emotion is just a chemical reaction in side your body, it is not real and will weaken you. Those who are been too emotional are weaklings. What a contrary approach toward emotion huh? For me, emotion is an important factor that drives you to whatever you going to do. It measure up your determination and efforts

What about me? Somebody told me that I am emotionless kind of people. Not sensitive to other’s feeling. And yet another person told me that I am too sensitive. Take some matters too deeply. Well, I can’t disagree with both of them, can I? And that’s why sometimes I think nobody could understand me.

In my perspective, I am not that too sensitive neither emotionless type of people. It depends on the situation actually. Sometimes I think I can even choose what kind of emotion I should feel. Then, sincerity becomes an issue. Am I been hypocrite?

Well, I always put it like this; before give any emotionally reaction, I will put that person in my place and imagine what are their reaction. Then I will choose to react more positive than him/her. Example? Okay, the situation is like this; somebody is angry at me and relishes their anger towards me. What should I react? Firstly, I will put that person at my place, and imagine what their reaction toward that. I can see that person will yelling back and speak some harsh words. And the situation will get worse. So I choose not to do the same thing, beside, I will play deaf and wont take any of that person’s word in my mind. So the situation won’t get worse and I think it is better solution to prevent any unpleasant circumstances and to protect my emotion/feelings/pride. What a complicated mind of me.

What I hope that someday, somewhere there a someone who will really understand me. But life now is not so bad. Still have faith in whatever I do and accept whatever had happen. So guys, have faith. Wassalam.

Saturday, April 09, 2005 @9:12 PM

Just now I chat with a girl from Japan. She is 21 years old and the name is Saki. She is in business study and doing part time job at the same time. She really mad at me when I call her, “gal”. She said “I am not Japanese gal, I am Japanese lady”. She just 21 and call herself lady, that what make me laugh. At first the chatting is same as any chatting session I have before, but after I told her how I really admire how the Japanese do their business, she gave me unexpected respond. The session goes like this….

nistelro0y: i like to know how Japanese run their business

nistelro0y: really admire u guys

Lady: nah

Lady: shouldn’t

Lady: Japanese society is starting to fall

nistelro0y: is it so?

nistelro0y: can u tell me more about it?

Lady: yep

Lady: the big times have gone

Lady: people are losing their jobs

Lady: higher ranked people do some nasty things

Lady: they get arrested

Lady: a lot of young crimes

nistelro0y: corruption?

Lady: yeah

Lady: and all those together,, Japanese aren’t gonna be better. we only await to fall

Lady: that’s what I’m saying

nistelro0y: but Japan still have strong base right

nistelro0y: as a main player in world economy

Lady: NO MORE

nistelro0y: i c

Lady: still on the top

Lady: but soon to be on the bottom

nistelro0y: it's good if we know our mistake earlier, so we can prevent it right?

Lady: China, Korea, Malaysia, Singapore,,,, those countries are coming up up up/

Lady: right

nistelro0y: why not focusing to save the economy right now

Lady: those who controls the society don’t care about economics enough

Lady: nobody cares

Lady: sounds like they do but actually they don’t

Lady: those are the one who has been making a lot of wrong decisions and such

Lady: and we, young generation don’t have the power to do so YET

nistelro0y: what a shock

nistelro0y: I heard Japan have problems, but don’t think it is this bad

nistelro0y: time for revolution, young generation supposes to do that

Lady: yep

Lady : its really up to our generation now but the thing is that most of the young people aren’t even interested in economics and all those important things in society. Because those dumb adults educate us wrong.

Lady : I don’t know,, its deep, i think you gotta be a Japanese to understand the problems

nistelro0y: now I can say that u r lady

nistelro0y: very mature thinking

Lady : hahaha

Lady : thanks

nistelro0y: u’re welcome, but really... I think there is not many of them realize this problem...

Lady : hmm

Lady : everybody can feel it but they just try not to pay attention

Lady : I THINK.

nistelro0y: is it so?

Lady : haha

nistelro0y: so what are they paying their attention to?

Lady : their OWN things.

Lady : they are happy as long as they are happy

nistelro0y: doesn’t it affect their future?

Lady : it does

Lady : that’s the thing

nistelro0y: i see

Lady : but they don’t think about what it is gonna be like 100 years from now, even 50 years from now.

nistelro0y: something had to be done there

Lady : we gotta stop cutting off the trees

Lady : gotta be smart with those trash

Lady : recycles

Lady : and all that

nistelro0y: u care about environment too eh...

Lady : we all have to

nistelro0y: yeah...

Lady : Japan has really serious problem i guess

Lady : wasting a lot of stuff

nistelro0y: if the elders don't care, we should care

Lady : true true

…………….

What an interesting thought from Saki-chan. She really makes me think a lot. It won’t be surprise for Malaysia to face the same problem for time to come. That’s what happens if people stop to think.

“He who thinks about death (future) is the smartest person in the world”

Have faith, wassalamz.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005 @4:40 PM

Today is the 1^st anniversary of my company. I am very glad and thankful to Allah for His blessings, because of Him we still standing strong to realize our dream. I hope Allah will keep His blessing to us and show us the way to be a better person. Unfortunately the celebration has to postpone until we move to a new office.

The management is getting matured and due to several rising issues, I call upon company reshuffle. This is for me to redefine each role and responsibilities of my partner/staff. I will leave them the choices whether they want to be my partner or my employee. Firstly, I would like to give the definition or partner and employee.

Definition of business partner: my company will allocate certain percentage of company’s share to her/him based upon their capital and efforts contribution. He or she will have fix pay at the end of the month if the company’s account is healthy. He or she will enjoy their share of profits at the end of each accounting’s year. But if the company is at loss, all share holders will bear it consequences. Even it is means by injecting own fund to keep the company in stable condition.

Definition of employee: my company will pay the employee via contract-basis. It’s mean that, company will pay the salary base upon their contribution in each project. Of course this will come with an agreement letters so that the right of the employees will be protected. Employees don’t have to suffer the company’s losses also won’t enjoy company’s profits. But, the MD’s have promised that if the company is at profit condition at the end of the year, all employees will get their bonus.

However, the company policies to provide accommodation and some leisure to all company’s member will be maintain even though there are no project on-going. This step hopefully will strengthen their faith and loyalty to the company. So guys, please decide now.

Come on, have faith!

Monday, April 04, 2005 @1:41 AM

After I watch “The Apprentice” last night, what Donald Trump say at the end of the show magnetize me. He says “Good attitude and positive thinking create energy to drive you to success”. I absolutely agreed with him, but sometimes the issue is, how to maintain this good attitude and positive thinking? In our journey to reach our dreams, there a lot of obstacles and challenges that really test our patient and faith. When I am about to lose this two important factors, boosters are really be of assistance.

About a year ago, I lost my most important “booster” at the time I most need her. No, she just leaves me, not this world. I nearly gave up hope and lost cause. Luckily there are my family and friends support me from falling down. Also this is the first time I feel the super-ego characteristic of mine being helpful. Its stop me from weeping about it. These are the reason why I still can stand still today.

And now, there is someone that always inspiring me. She is one of my best friends. She got big influences on me. When I feeling down, just having a conversation with her even it is not about my problems can make me smile again. I believe, everybody can solve their problem themselves if their heart at harmony or peace. She gives me this serenity feeling and that’s why she is very important to me. I hope our friendship last forever

A new week started, and may Allah show me the path to success in life and hereafter. Please make us be a better person in the future and forgive our sins in the past. Amin.

Have faith. Wassalamz.

Friday, April 01, 2005 @3:52 PM

People ask me why I want to involve in this business… Why now?….Why don’t I get a job and gain some experience first?... well, the answers are simple but hard to speak it out… beside it is my childhood’s dream, it is because I have a big obligation to my family and also I am afraid that I going starting to like working under people…. In my point of view, if I have a regular pay at each month, I will be a selfish person… i have seen many examples to justify my assumption... Maybe some people won't agree with me, but you couldn't deny facts could you.... it sometimes do happen...

With a limited amount of pay, I afraid I couldn’t fulfill my responsibility toward my family… I have eight little brothers and sisters that will fully rely on me in next two years coz my mother going to retire that time… the time is running out… I have to be ready for that time and the answer to this problem is none other than to become a steady businessman two years from now… what if I’m not made it?... Ahh, for me that question is another negative approach to blow out my fire of faith… I shouldn’t think about failure while I’m marching toward success…. But to be wise, I had thought about some backup plans if something goes wrong…

Yesterday I just got back from ROC and MARA to enquire about what they can offer for young entrepreneur like me… And they got a lot of things to offers… I’m very thankful that they are very helpful… I got crystal view about what I have to obtain in next three months… Hopefully, my company will become robust enough to compete with other mainstream players….. have faith…..